Grid Hymns

by Infinitefreefall

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Has the real world ever looked so bleak?

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credits

released November 15, 2016

Maxton Stenstrom: production, lyrics, vocals, art
Mike Malchicoff: mixing, mastering, engineering

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Infinitefreefall Los Angeles, California

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Track Name: Sleeping Spell
i'm pretty sure that i'm wasting away
must be mostly gone by now
i'm pretty sure that i'm wasting away
but i'll make it through today somehow

wake up and do it again
and one day it'll all end
why bother trying at all?
i'd rather be sleeping in
Track Name: Jaded
i get a feeling on days like today
to not tell anyone and just drive away
up through the 1 beside the ocean into nothing wouldn’t be a bad way

cause i fall asleep at the wheel sometimes
waiting for another reason to pursue this life
and maybe it’ll come and i’ll feel like this decision was right

but for today i’m just jaded
grand plans have only degraded
living someone else’s dream never felt so hard

for today i’m just jaded
grand plans have only degraded
i could give up and go home but home has never been so far

and i keep telling myself i don't need anyone else
Track Name: Beautiful People
five steps away from you feels like an eternity
something about you just says you won't get close to me
and i start to feel claustrophobic from everyone in my sight
it's like every single perfect person is in this city tonight

all these beautiful people under these flashing lights
i swear i'll be one of them on one of these nights

stay alive til the weekend comes
forget your name and fall in love
i want to be just like you

speed through the best years of your life
die in a blaze of glory at 25
i want to be just like you

maybe i'm just being too hard on myself
maybe if i try to be somebody else
maybe i could use some help
Track Name: Lust for Loneliness
quiet and numb and too tired to run
i feel at peace when i just make myself small
all of the maybes are disintegrating
i feel at peace when i don't feel anything at all

"i swear i can change"
i know myself too well to find any truth in these claims
to keep playing these games it's useless i say

"i swear i can change"
but burn the skin off my bones and the blood out my veins
and the lead in my brain and i'll still be the same

and i'll tell you right now
think i'd rather be alone
i'm tired of the strife
so feel free to let me go

and i'll tell you right now
i'd just kill to be alone
everybody leaves
and everybody knows

and when the pressure becomes too much
and when the voices get too loud
i walk the width of the pacific and i try not to drown

cause as compelling as that sounds
i've got to sell out and go mainstream
cause i've never been so sure everyone i know secretly hates me

so i'll know no one at all
i think it's better this way
you know where to find me
if you have something you need to say
don't worry about me too much
i'm barely alive anyway
Track Name: Past in Perpetuity
stop this screaming and stop this car
do you ever get those moments where you forget who you are?
and you search for new identities to divorce from reality
cause everything just seems to feel wrong

how did it end up this way
it all seemed so good from so far away
real life is caving in but at least in my head i can play it again

my past in perpetuity
when real life won't give me what i need
nostalgia just lets me breathe
the dead are still alive inside of me

and if you make it to the other side
can you tell me what it feels like?

i try to be a flower not a fighter
but i'm burning petals off with a cigarette lighter
said the mistake incubator to the psychic simulator
"tell me, does my future still look brighter?"

cause there's a way out i can't see
from this prison of memory
and i look up to the sky and my conscious sings
"mon amie"
Track Name: Oceanbreather
i’m underwater
caught in the rip
i’m going home
this is my ship

this air is mine
as i start to begin
my arms are out
i’m breathing in

i’ve never been one for speaking in tongues
but if you’ll allow me it’ll just be this once
you are the air i’m breathing out
and i am an ocean breather now

breathe in the water

cause in my dreams i'm drowning every night
and if i close my eyes i swear the shore's in sight
cause in my dreams at least there i can hide
cause i swear the world has never looked less bright
more than ever in my life